Kix - Blow My Fuse

Disclaimer: I do not guarantee that you will lose weight by listening to Kix’s seminal album “Blow My Fuse”.  I can however assure you that there is no greater album in the history of mankind to listen to while you are working out.

Perhaps Kix did not realize this at the time of its release in 1988, because you won’t find any weights, exercise bikes or neon headbands in its lyrics or promotional materials.  Perhaps they were trying to distance themselves from the attempted pop / rock crossover album “Cool Kids” and its video single “Body Talk”.  I could probably write an entire article about that video itself… I still don’t know if the video is hilarious or creepy (actually, I’m gonna go with both) but that song will probably be stuck in my head for another week after writing this.

Let’s dive into a little ancient butt-rock history before we get to the album at hand.  Kix were indisputably the greatest thing to ever come out of Baltimore, at least until The Wire showed up on HBO many years later.  They started out in the late 70’s as a bar band covering things like AC/DC, Van Halen and other hard rock staples, and then branched out into original material.  They paid some serious dues at the local clubs and developed a reputation as an insanely good live band.  They were so good that Brett Michaels and some of the other guys from Poison would come all the way over from Pennsylvania to see them play.  The word on the street is that the Poison boys took really good notes, adopted Kix’s performance and musical style, brought it out to L.A. and then obviously enjoyed much more success than our boys from Baltimore ever did.  But one thing that Poison never managed to copy was Kix’s ability to write and record an album that had more than 2 good songs on it, which brings us to “Blow My Fuse”.

You are probably familiar with one track on this one, “Don’t Close Your Eyes”, an anti-suicide ballad that managed to reach #11 on the Billboard charts.  It’s the requisite power-ballad of the album.  But holy shit, they manage to craft a slow song that does not include thinly veiled metaphors for boning, in 1988 nonetheless!  They should probably get a medal for that alone.  Don’t worry though, the rest of the songs are all pretty much thinly veiled metaphors for boning.  Actually, even saying “thinly veiled” might be a stretch…

The album starts off with “Red Lite, Green Lite, TNT”, a straightforward up-tempo rocker.  What a perfect way to start out the 3 hours of cardio you need to do to work off that six pack of High Life tallboys you drank last night!

OK, now that we’re warmed up a bit it’s time to crank up the incline on that treadmill. For my money the album really starts out with track #2, “Get It While It’s Hot”.  This song in particular highlights just what it is that makes Kix kick ass.  It’s called a CHORUS, kids, and I’m not talking about that stompbox that your mom bought you. 

“No Ring Around Rosie” might just be the dirtiest song on the album.  It’s amazing just how dirty Kix can be without using any actual profanity.  AC/DC taught them well, and Kix takes it to the next level.

 After that they wisely take it down a notch with “Don’t Close Your Eyes” and then go into “She Dropped Me The Bomb”, which picks up the pace again in a nice poppy way. 

Then they get back to the business with “Cold Blood”.  Holy shit, THAT is how you write a goddamn chorus!  More people should follow Brett Michael's lead and try to copy this, maybe there would be some better songs on the radio.

The album continues with the songs "Piece of the Pie" and "Boomerang", which are probably the weakest on the album, but still quite enjoyable. The title track “Blow My Fuse” goes a bit slower and sleazier, good stuff because by now you've been doing that goddamn cardio for a while, are starting to get sweaty and ready to start winding down or moving to the weights or something.  

But before you're done you gotta give it one last run, so they pick up the pace yet again for the last number "Dirty Boys".  That one isn't quite so memorable, but hey, still an excellent way to close the album on an up note.  

What really makes “Blow My Fuse” stand out from the rest of the hair / pop / glam / metal / rock pack of the era is the consistency of the songwriting and pace of the album as a whole.  They do a great job of keeping momentum and there is enough variety between songs to get you through the entire album without getting bored. Certainly not every track is as good as the high points of "Cold Blood" or "Get It While It's Hot", but all are respectable and enjoyable to listen to.  

While certainly not the first band to mix some solid rock n’ roll with a little bit of blues and pop, they know how to do it right.  You can tell that Kix paid attention when they were paying their dues as a cover band. They realized what made the songs by rock bands like AC/DC classics and they applied it to their own work.  Sure, they pretty much stick to the formula that was established years and years prior, but they were wise enough to do it right.  Rather than one good single and 7 filler tracks, they really made an album that would stand up as a whole.  

Europe - Wings of Tomorrow

The year was 1988 and I was at the grocery store with my dad, looking through the cassette shelf at the front of the grocery store. I saw the name "EUROPE" in those big red bold letters that were on the side of most tapes of the era. It wasn't The Final Countdown, which was probably my favorite album at the time. I pulled the tape out and saw this awesome metal space bird on the front.

I ran back to the cash register and begged my dad to let me get the tape, which of course he did. Once home I threw that bad boy in my Walkman, put on the headphones and promptly had my mind blown. I didn't even know that Europe had an album prior to The Final Countdown, and after listening through the tape, it was obvious that this album was heavier, more raw, more guitar driven and WAY better...

Many years have passed since that fateful day at the grocery store. My neck is no longer kept warm in the winter by the fluffy glory of my mullet. Countless genres of music (or even just metal) have risen, fallen and risen again, but the metallic wings of this space hawk have not tarnished one bit over the years.

Obviously I have quite a sentimental attachment to this album. Dreams of one day playing the instrumental "Aphasia" was the catalyst to my ditching the piano and picking up a guitar instead. Literally, I had a dream about shredding the shit out of that song on a huge lighted stage and the next day I told my mom that I had to play guitar. The cassette was flipped back and forth countless times while I rode the charlift up and then blasted my way back down the mountain on my skis. Enough about me, lets talk about the album itself!

Europe is generally placed in the sub-genre of pop metal (or hair metal). While not entirely untrue, I don't think that is quite fair to them, at least when talking about this album. I wouldn't call this album metal, though you could make the argument that "Scream of Anger" is about as metal as a song can get. Arch Enemy even covered it. While there are some poppy tendancies, this album is straight up classic hard rock in the tradition of Thin Lizzy, The Scorpions, etc.

The album kicks off with "Stormwind", a straight up mid-tempo rocker. A good start, just thinking about it makes me want to shred down the mountain on my good ol neon yellow skis. Guitarist John Norum immediately kicks off the album with a huge melodic guitar line, not afraid to show his classic rock / blues influences. Vocalist Joey Tempest has a great voice for rock, with just enough of a raw edge backing his strong melodies. If you read the lyrics I don't think it is hard to figure out that English is not their native language, but who really cares about the words anyway... lets get to rockin!

Next comes "Scream of Anger", the fastest and most angry song of the album. Double bass drums, wah-filtered guitars, lyrics about a guy waiting for the death sentence, yup... that's metal.

At this point you know that a power ballad is absolutely neccessary (it is 1984 after all...) and Europe delivers with "Open Your Heart" Not too shabby at all, as far as ballads go. They later did a completely unneccessary re-do of this song on "Out of this World" but the original is much better.

"Treated Bad Again" kicks the heat back on with a monster Deep Purple-ish guitar riff. The song has a stomping, slow, greasy and bluesy feel (with a great, though brief interlude). Not afraid to wear their influences on their sleeve, they aren't trying to reinvent the wheel here. Europe is smart enough to keep it simple, do it right and just play some ROCK!

Now comes the aformentioned guitar instrumental "Aphasia". In hindsight I have my suspicion that Norum wanted to show that Yngwie wasn't the only Strat-wielding Swede who could melt your face off. He is certainly more in tune with the blues and making each note count rather than Mr. Malmsteen though. I think this one might not have aged as gracefully as some of the other cuts on this album but it is a great way to close out Side A.

Flip that tape over and you come to the title track "Wings of Tomorrow". Moderately up-tempo, this one has some great guitar playing as well. Some cheesy backing vocals on the chorus have definately not stood the test of time, but still some good stuff.

Next up is "Wasted Time" which is another mid-tempo rocker. Again, not trying to re-invent the wheel here, it's just a straight up rocker with an absolutely blistering short guitar solo. John Norum can obviously deliver the shredding goods when he wants to, but luckily he doesn't need to constantly remind the listener of that.

"Lyin' Eyes" follows, which may be the strongest overall song on the album. A great chorus, strong lyrics (considering...) and great rhythm guitar that doesn't just stick to power chords. I believe this was the first single from the album, for a good reason. I would love to track down the vinyl version of that single, which had a different vocal track than the album itself...

We're getting close to the end, and it's time again for another ballad. "Dreamer" is piano / keyboard based. It's a pretty good, if standard, slow song for the era. The lyrics again are pretty cliche... OK, OK, it may have made the pre-teen me get misty-eyed a few times. Shut up.

Now, time to close it out with an up-tempo rocker "Dance the Night Away". This one actually does make me want to MOVE, as does a lot of this album. It makes me wish for the days that you could go to a night club, listen to awesome rock music, drink countless shots and beers and just get down and party. There would be pink neon lights and checkered tile floors, and of course lots of hot rocker chicks with Aqua-Netted teased hair, pegged Guess? jeans and 3 pairs of different colored socks on. I'd be sporting my lightning-dagger dangly earring, an awesome jean jacket, my mullet blowing behind me in the breeze from the fog machine, lasers cutting through all over the place...

OK, I'm pretty sure that club never existed, and even if it did the 10 year old me wouldn't have been able to get in.

I'm just a Dreamer I guess!