Kix - Blow My Fuse

Disclaimer: I do not guarantee that you will lose weight by listening to Kix’s seminal album “Blow My Fuse”.  I can however assure you that there is no greater album in the history of mankind to listen to while you are working out.

Perhaps Kix did not realize this at the time of its release in 1988, because you won’t find any weights, exercise bikes or neon headbands in its lyrics or promotional materials.  Perhaps they were trying to distance themselves from the attempted pop / rock crossover album “Cool Kids” and its video single “Body Talk”.  I could probably write an entire article about that video itself… I still don’t know if the video is hilarious or creepy (actually, I’m gonna go with both) but that song will probably be stuck in my head for another week after writing this.

Let’s dive into a little ancient butt-rock history before we get to the album at hand.  Kix were indisputably the greatest thing to ever come out of Baltimore, at least until The Wire showed up on HBO many years later.  They started out in the late 70’s as a bar band covering things like AC/DC, Van Halen and other hard rock staples, and then branched out into original material.  They paid some serious dues at the local clubs and developed a reputation as an insanely good live band.  They were so good that Brett Michaels and some of the other guys from Poison would come all the way over from Pennsylvania to see them play.  The word on the street is that the Poison boys took really good notes, adopted Kix’s performance and musical style, brought it out to L.A. and then obviously enjoyed much more success than our boys from Baltimore ever did.  But one thing that Poison never managed to copy was Kix’s ability to write and record an album that had more than 2 good songs on it, which brings us to “Blow My Fuse”.

You are probably familiar with one track on this one, “Don’t Close Your Eyes”, an anti-suicide ballad that managed to reach #11 on the Billboard charts.  It’s the requisite power-ballad of the album.  But holy shit, they manage to craft a slow song that does not include thinly veiled metaphors for boning, in 1988 nonetheless!  They should probably get a medal for that alone.  Don’t worry though, the rest of the songs are all pretty much thinly veiled metaphors for boning.  Actually, even saying “thinly veiled” might be a stretch…

The album starts off with “Red Lite, Green Lite, TNT”, a straightforward up-tempo rocker.  What a perfect way to start out the 3 hours of cardio you need to do to work off that six pack of High Life tallboys you drank last night!

OK, now that we’re warmed up a bit it’s time to crank up the incline on that treadmill. For my money the album really starts out with track #2, “Get It While It’s Hot”.  This song in particular highlights just what it is that makes Kix kick ass.  It’s called a CHORUS, kids, and I’m not talking about that stompbox that your mom bought you. 

“No Ring Around Rosie” might just be the dirtiest song on the album.  It’s amazing just how dirty Kix can be without using any actual profanity.  AC/DC taught them well, and Kix takes it to the next level.

 After that they wisely take it down a notch with “Don’t Close Your Eyes” and then go into “She Dropped Me The Bomb”, which picks up the pace again in a nice poppy way. 

Then they get back to the business with “Cold Blood”.  Holy shit, THAT is how you write a goddamn chorus!  More people should follow Brett Michael's lead and try to copy this, maybe there would be some better songs on the radio.

The album continues with the songs "Piece of the Pie" and "Boomerang", which are probably the weakest on the album, but still quite enjoyable. The title track “Blow My Fuse” goes a bit slower and sleazier, good stuff because by now you've been doing that goddamn cardio for a while, are starting to get sweaty and ready to start winding down or moving to the weights or something.  

But before you're done you gotta give it one last run, so they pick up the pace yet again for the last number "Dirty Boys".  That one isn't quite so memorable, but hey, still an excellent way to close the album on an up note.  

What really makes “Blow My Fuse” stand out from the rest of the hair / pop / glam / metal / rock pack of the era is the consistency of the songwriting and pace of the album as a whole.  They do a great job of keeping momentum and there is enough variety between songs to get you through the entire album without getting bored. Certainly not every track is as good as the high points of "Cold Blood" or "Get It While It's Hot", but all are respectable and enjoyable to listen to.  

While certainly not the first band to mix some solid rock n’ roll with a little bit of blues and pop, they know how to do it right.  You can tell that Kix paid attention when they were paying their dues as a cover band. They realized what made the songs by rock bands like AC/DC classics and they applied it to their own work.  Sure, they pretty much stick to the formula that was established years and years prior, but they were wise enough to do it right.  Rather than one good single and 7 filler tracks, they really made an album that would stand up as a whole.